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I don't have much to say except "Hi! How's it going?" And yes, I'm still here! Man, I'm such a flake. I promised that I would be writing more, and yet again, I've failed you, my loyal reader (there may only be one of you, I'm not sure). In any case, my thoughts have been all over the place lately - I just need to gather them up and think of something clever and I'll be right back.

Here's a picture to prove I'm still around (and Amber says hi!):











I do have a rather cute and fashionable new hair cut which you can't see because of the cat, so I will take another photo (when I am looking more appropriate than I am now) so you will see what I mean.

And now, since it is way past my bedtime, I bid you a fond farewell. And I promise that I will return.

Always look on the bright side of life (and also, what I'm thankful for...a few days early).

I am healthy.

I have an amazingly wonderful family.

I have awesome friends that could pass as family.

I have a great job working for an organization that saves people's lives.

I have a roof over my head.

I have two cats who bring me much happiness and comfort.

I have food in my kitchen.

I have a reliable car that I love.

I am intelligent.

I am alive.

Moving too fast.

I've had so much to do lately that I've neglected my blog. And I promised myself I would never do that. I am hopeful that things will calm down a little in the next few weeks, which will allow me to collect my thoughts and write regularly again.

I am doing fine, thank goodness - work is extremely busy but it makes the days go fast. Rob and I will be celebrating our ninth wedding anniversary this Wednesday (nine years already?) and are heading to Tahoe next weekend to celebrate. It should be a lot of fun - a rotation of gambling and eating is on the agenda, and who knows what else.

Hope all is well with everyone out there, and I promise, I have not forgotten about you.

So long, summer

So here we are, Labor Day weekend. The "official" last weekend of summer (even though fall doesn't start until September 22nd). I'm always sad to see the summertime end - there's a certain sense of ease and relaxation that comes with summer, and it always disappears in the fall. I can always tell when the weather is getting ready to change, because the air in the morning smells remarkably different. I know for sure fall is coming when I smell that unmistakable morning smell - it's the smell that, to this day, still turns my stomach a little bit - not because of the odor, but because of the strong connection I established with the first day of school. I always used to get nervous on the first day of school, but for some reason, the smell of the morning air always made it worse. It reminded me that summer was definitely gone and fall was on its way; that the carefree days of sleeping in, running through sprinklers and eating popsicles were being replaced with homework, getting up early and new teachers.

When I left for work this morning at 6am, I noticed as soon as I opened the garage door that the smell had returned, thus signaling the beginning of the end of summer.

Isn't it incredible how your brain attaches memories to scents? The human body never ceases to amaze me.

Whoa.

Where is the time going? Seriously? We were talking today at work about ideas for Halloween costumes.

Will someone please take their finger OFF the fast forward button that seems to be stuck this year?

Actually, I'm happy that this year is more than halfway over - it's been a tough year for so many people I know and I'm ready for a new beginning.

And I just realized...4 months from today is Christmas Day! I'm simultaneously excited and exhausted thinking about that.

So is it just me, or does anyone else think this year has gone faster than most?

Post-vacation doldrums.

Have you ever had a vacation so wonderful that you literally forget all of your troubles and cares? That the rest of the world seems to disappear and all that exists is you and the place you're visiting? I was lucky enough to have a vacation like that last week. And as you can imagine, coming back down to reality was not easy.

My family and I went to our usual summer vacation destination (Riverlane Resort in Guerneville) for our annual one week stay last week. Every year is always an escape for all of us - to reconnect with each other and just focus on our family - but this year, it seemed like more of an escape than ever. Because this year has been especially challenging, I think everyone was so ready for a break that the vibe just picked me up and carried me away. For a brief moment, I actually forgot the name of the software system we're implementing at work. And I've been working on this project for six months now. It only took a matter of days for me to wipe it from my memory. Which made it all the more hard to come back. Here are some of the things that made it so great:

• I had a mocha almost every morning.
• My mom and I went to Freestone one morning and bought freshly baked bread and scones. Nothing better than fresh baked goods and ocean weather.
• It was 85 degrees and warm for most of the week.
• I ate pate' and brie cheese for the first time together on some bread at the suggestion of my uncle. In an effort to try new things, I was happy that I did. It was pretty delicious.
• I danced to Earth Wind and Fire's song September at the miniature golf course.
• I walked mostly every morning.
  
• I took a nap mostly every morning after my walk.
• I didn't dry my hair most of the week (except for my bangs, which are a fright if I don't).
• I didn't wear a watch.
• I didn't use the microwave.
• I sang along with Since U Been Gone by Kelly Clarkson at a bar after having had a martini and a rum and coke (I am a lightweight and it does not take much to make me tipsy).
• I ate veggie sandwiches for lunch almost every day.
• A few of us went to the Russian River Pub and ate DELICIOUS food.
• We goofed off and took a zillion funny pictures. I love my digital camera.
  
• I ate two truffles.
• I took pictures of most everything I ate and all the animals I saw. (A separate post will follow with some of those pictures.)
  

I also went horseback riding with some friends of our family (Jacqui and her children Jenna and Vaughn, who we met at the resort a few years back and became instant honorary members of our family), and it was both spectacular and terrifying. I had forgotten just how high up you are when you're on a horse, and before the ride began, we were given a plethora of lessons on how to direct the horse, most of which I forgot by the end of the demonstration. I have never been more scared in my life - I thought for sure I was going to spend 2 1/2 hours guiding a horse, which I was not good at, and somehow end up lost or injured. Jacqui almost backed out herself - it sounded like it was going to be too much to handle. We decided to go for it, and I am so glad that we did. Although riding a horse uphill and downhill is scary (I said a little prayer every time we went down a hairpin turn), the experience was amazing and beautiful. The lookout point we stopped at was breathtaking. The horses were well-behaved and very gentle. What they did not tell us was that the horses knew the trail we were on like the back of their hoof (ha!), and I ended up having to do very little guiding - he knew exactly what to do. Once I figured that out, it was smooth sailing. This is what it looked like at the top:













Pretty spectacular.


And here's one of me with my horse, Sidney:

















I apparently am so boring that my horse is falling asleep standing up.

My husband pointed out that this was the first excursion of its kind that I took without any members of my family going with me. But I felt so comfortable with Jacqui and her kids that it didn't bother me at all.

Although it was incredibly difficult to come home this year, I'm back into the swing of things for the most part and readjusting to my normal life. I still pine for vacation, but what comforts me is the reservation we've already made for next year.

And knowing that next year will be just as good, if not better, than this year.

Still here.

I haven't a clue as to what to write about. I am completely blank right now but at least wanted to say hello and yes, I am still here. As soon as I think of something creative/clever/entertaining, I will come back and tell you aaaaall about it.

See you soon!

Reality television finally pays off...sort of.

I've always been rather indecisive, which to me is a very annoying personality trait. I can't make a lot of snap decisions, and I tend to overthink things waaaaay too much, which results in a lengthy decision making process for everything. I doubt myself so much that it clouds my head. I've been struggling with this a lot lately, and on my way home yesterday, I had an odd realization. Whenever I watch reality television shows and someone has to make a difficult decision, I'm usually pretty good at being objective and realizing the best course of action. So when I'm faced with a challenging situation, all I have to do is think, "If I were watching myself talk about this on TV right now, what would I be telling the television?"

I guess it's my way of stepping back from the situation to take a look at the bigger picture. Weird, but as I always say, whatever works.

Where will I be on July 14th at 7:30?

Seeing Coldplay in concert with my friend Cam. And I cannot wait! I've never seen them in concert before, but I'm sure it's going to be amazing. It'll be a great way to kick off vacation. I totally forgot about it until a couple of days ago - it's nice to have something else to look forward to.

I will try and take pictures, or I will just have to try and describe the awesomeness of it all.

I'd also like to throw a note on stage requesting that Chris Martin talk to his wife about her horrible pretentiousness, but I still have to figure that one out.

Dealing with grief.

In all of my thirty-two years on this planet, I've been extremely lucky in that I've not had to deal with the grieving process as much as the next person. My first experience with it was with my great-grandmother on my dad's side, who passed away in 2005 at the age of 96. I had never been to a funeral for someone that close to me before, and it was the hardest thing I had ever dealt with up to that point. It took me a long time to realize that she was gone, and I had an incredibly difficult time after her funeral trying to process what had happened.

So when my great-grandmother on my mom's side passed away Monday at the age of 95, I thought that I would be able to handle it for the most part. But I was wrong on so many levels. This is a form of grief that I have never known, and I'm stumbling through it blindly. I have periods where I'm fine (and by fine I mean not crying but in an incredibly thick fog of complete unawareness) and periods where I can't stop crying and my whole body shakes with sobs. Nothing seems to matter to me anymore, and everything takes so much effort and energy. Yesterday was a beautifully sunny day, and all I could think about was that my great-grandmother was never going to see another day like this again. She would never see the roses that my great-grandfather planted in the front yard. She would never be here to celebrate holidays or birthdays with us. There is a tremendous gaping hole that she has left behind, and even though she lived longer than most people do and I should be thankful for that, I'm still having a terrible time dealing with the fact that she is gone.

But there are also lots of wonderful memories that are being passed around now at my grandparent's house. How my great-grandmother, when they were living in Europe, caught a man who was trying to steal sheep from their farm and threw him in the barn, latched the door with a 2x4 and stood outside with a pitchfork telling him that if he came out, she would kill him. My memories of her are spending the days at their house with their dog Hundi (Lady), who I used to do "peace be with you" with when I shook her paw. I remember the walks we used to take to Raley's on summer mornings. I remember her babysitting us and how kind and gentle she was. And I'll always be so lucky that I had two sets of great-grandparents growing up, and how most people don't even get the chance to meet their great-grandparents. I am thankful for all of this and more.

I will miss her more than anything, but I am thankful for the time I was given with her and will treasure it always. She was a tough and incredibly strong woman, and I hope that I can find it in myself to be as strong as she was through this difficult time.

I'll miss you, Cross-the-Street Oma. I love you more than anything.

Never enough time.

I went over to my grandparent's house yesterday to drop off some things and ended up visiting with them for over an hour. I haven't done that in such a long time and I could tell that it really made them happy. My grandmother (Oma) showed me some of her plants in the backyard and the green beans and cucumbers she planted along the back fence. She gave me a jar of her homemade spaghetti sauce, a container of fresh pineapple, some apple bars and some crepes to take home. We talked about all kinds of things, her and I, while we sat with my grandfather in their garage in the late afternoon sun. I told them about work and an upcoming business trip I'll be taking. Oma was excited that I get to travel and see different places.

I left feeling really happy but a little sad at the same time. My life has gotten so busy over the last few years that I really haven't sat and talked to them in quite awhile. We see each other quite often for family get togethers, but I don't go over there by myself just to visit with them as often as I should. And I really have no excuse, since they only live 15 minutes away from me. I think I've taken for granted over the years that they have always been there, and I guess I just assumed that they always will be, which is sadly not the case. My grandparents were pretty young when I was born (my grandmother 44, my grandfather 46), so I've been luckier than most in that regard. But over the last few years, time has started to take its toll, and it's made me realize that we don't have all the time in the world. Time with them now has become more important than ever.

I've made a promise to myself that I'm going to visit with them as often as I can, no matter what. The small things in my life (chores, errands, etc.) can wait - there will always be time for that. Being there for them can't wait. And I realized it yesterday. Thank goodness it was now rather than later.

McKinley Park, how I've missed you.

My treadmill has recently become the dreadmill for me. Although it allowed me to train for my first 5k almost 3 years ago, the magic has vanished and I'm bored. The thought of coming home and spending 45 minutes on it seemed like torture to me. But, I still love the way I feel after I finish a run, so I knew I had to change up my routine in order to keep it interesting. So I decided to head to McKinley Park this week to start running/walking outside. I almost decided not to go yesterday afternoon because I wasn't sure what the weather was going to be like, but when I got home from work and it was sunny and warm, I had no excuses.

And I am so glad I did. I had forgotten just how lovely that park really is. I felt like I was going somewhere instead of feeling like a hamster in a wheel. When certain songs came on my iPod, I got a little ahead of myself by thinking I could run faster than I really could. The burst of energy was incredible. I didn't run as much as I wanted to, but I kept reminding myself that running outside is entirely different than running on a treadmill, and I'm simply not used to it. Over time, it will become easier.

It was nice to spend some good quality time by myself. I was alone in my thoughts and enjoyed the outdoors as I listened to my workout mix. I felt like an entirely different person when I left.
I think this time is going to be so important to my sanity while we're working on this big project at work.

I'll probably go back to the treadmill when the weather isn't good (either too hot/too cold), but it's nice to have the park to use while the weather is nice.

A disappointing weekend.

I was all prepared to have a fantastic three day weekend when I left work on Friday. I went out for margaritas with a couple of friends and had a great time (as always). I woke up early on Saturday morning feeling rested and ready to do everything I wanted to do, including baking brownies for my sister's birthday party and buying her a present. And I planned to do all that right after I took a short nap in the afternoon.

When I woke up, I had a scratchy throat. Which I thought might be allergies, but just in case, I started taking Emergen-C just to be on the safe side. When my friend PJ called and asked me if I wanted to go to Chevy's, I of course said yes. We ate and then went to Big Spoon for yogurt afterwards. I was feeling about the same, but continued taking Emergen-C the rest of the night.

I woke up feeling pretty crappy yesterday. My throat hurt, my nose was clogged and I felt really awful. I kept up with the Emergen-C thinking I'd feel better.

I slept terrible last night and did nothing at all today. I didn't leave the house or do housework. At this moment, I am feeling better than I did this morning, and I'm thinking it's because of the Emergen-C. I've been taking it all weekend and I think I'd be feeling a lot worse right now if I hadn't taken it as much as I have been.

With my luck, I'll be feeling great tomorrow morning, just in time to go back to work. Which is a good thing, since we're still working on the huge project and this week will be just as crazy as last week.

I guess I should be happy that I didn't get it as bad as my husband did last week, but I'm still disappointed that I felt bad enough that it put a damper on my weekend.

Oh well - next weekend will be here quicker thanks to the 4 day work week. Guess I'll just make up for it then!

Jillian Michaels is a tool of Satan.

I did level 1 of her 30 day shred workout this evening, and now my arms barely work well enough for me to type. I did this workout for a few days a couple months back, and then I abandoned it. I've got to stick with it this time - I saw a side view picture of myself taken last summer and my middle section disgusted me. It's time to do something about it. Thirty days really isn't that long, and it's only a 20 minute workout. I'm not that lazy that I can't do that every day.

So here's hoping by June 19th, I'll feel entirely different and be able to do bicycle crunches without cursing at the television.

Or at her for being so evil.

Casserole = goooood.

Did I take pictures? Of course not.

This dish is really, really good. I will definitely make it again, just not when it's 9831 degrees outside.

Here's the link to the recipe if you are so inclined to try it yourself. You will not be disappointed. I left out the cilantro (yuck), and I was thinking of adding garlic next time just for kicks. It might also be good to add chicken or pork to this - that would bring it to a whole other world of deliciousness.

Enjoy!

I can be a real moron sometimes.

Leave it to me to decide to cook a meal for the week (as I planned earlier on) in the crock pot on the hottest frickin' day of the year. Easy? Of course. Smart? Not really.

This enchilada casserole better be worth it. Pictures to come later.

Not sure how I'm going to sleep tonight.

My husband's mild cold has turned into a bad one, and he is snoring like I've never heard anyone snore before. And even with our air conditioning going at full force, it's still 81 degrees in here. I probably won't get the most restful night's sleep tonight.

Thank goodness tomorrow is Sunday.

Free weekend.

I have absolutely no plans this weekend except to do my usual, which is go to my Weight Watchers meeting on Saturday morning, then head to Trader Joe's to pick up a few things. I have some ideas of what I'd like to accomplish by the time the weekend is over:

• Weigh in for the month of May. My body isn't cooperating right now, so I may have to postpone that until next weekend.
• Clean, clean, clean. It's no fun but I always feel so good when it's done.
• Start a new book. I haven't read a book in a couple of months now.
• Get my giveaway clothes in a bag and ready for the garage sale we're having at the beginning of June.
• Relax and recharge. It's going to be another brutal week at work.
• Call my best friend. We haven't spoken on the phone in a few weeks, so we're overdue.
• Cook something healthy for the week. I need to stop eating processed frozen lunches because of the salt. I think that's one of the reasons I've been bloated.
• Bake a healthy dessert. I'll start by looking on the Weight Watchers website.
• Buy an album off iTunes with the gift card I got for my birthday.
  
• Burn some of my already purchased music onto CDs.
• Make sure my husband takes care of himself. He's fighting a mild cold and I think he has a fever tonight. I swooped in with the Tylenol and made sure he's drinking enough liquids.
• Organize my bathroom. It's gotten out of hand.
• Watch a movie. It's either going to be Doubt, Burn After Reading or Seven Pounds. I'm going into Mad Men withdrawals now that we've finished the first season and have to wait until July to watch the second one.
• Buy my sister a birthday present. Her birthday's on the 25th and we're all getting together on the 24th at my mom's for her party.

I think that's quite enough for one weekend, and of course, I won't hold myself to doing everything. If I can take a good chunk out of this list, that would make me happy.

Thank goodness tomorrow is Friday - I've never been happier to end a work week!!

This is just so sad.

I've been watching the television show Jon and Kate plus 8 for awhile now. The kids are adorable (all of them except one of the twins who drives me crazy), and it's interesting watching how a family of 10 survives in this day and age. I also feel bad for Jon, seeing as he's constantly berated and belittled on national television by Kate.

So it made me really sad to see this today. I feel bad for the children. It's hard enough having your family filmed and put on national television so that everyone can judge you, but then to have the paparazzi and tabloids publishing everything that's going wrong in your marriage is just awful. I can't imagine what it must be like to go to the grocery store with their kids and having to try and hide the fact that their parent's pictures are on the cover of the tabloids.

Rob and I have talked a lot about this family, and my point of view is that they chose to have as many kids as they did. They had a set of twins first with fertility drugs, so I'm sure they knew that they would probably have another set of multiples the second time around. How could they not? Rob says that now that they are on the show, it would be hard to take it away because of all the free stuff they're getting from TLC, and the show is allowing them to provide for their children what they might not have been able to on such a tight budget.

Again, it's a choice. And it was the choice they made. They probably had no idea that the show would get this popular, and now it's backfiring.

I just really feel terrible for the children involved. How sad that they have to be subjected to all of this nonsense.

This makes me drool.

I have a day-to-day calendar at work that has a different shoe every day, and the last few have been ho-hum until today's eye candy:



















You can't really see it in the picture, but the clasp is a little disco ball-looking closure.


Is this perfection or what?

I ROCK.

Oh yes, I do.

I finished a HUGE chunk of work today and I'm feeling pretty great about myself. I plowed through mounds of data entry like it was nothing. I wrote 25 test cases. I wrote some SOPs. And now, I can sleep tonight.

You win, Facebook.

I finally gave in and now I can't stop. Help me.

Don't really have a whole lot to say tonight, but I'm here anyway.

My brain has nothing left to give after an entire day of writing test cases and standard operating procedures. The good news? There's a light at the end of this very long tunnel. We have a couple of major hurdles to clear this week, and then we get to breathe a little. And by a little, I mean a day, maybe two if we're lucky.

But I'm feeling good. I felt really productive today and had a good groove going while I was writing everything. This is all proving to be a really good learning experience for me and will be an excellent item to add to my resume'.

If I can even remember that I have a resume' by the time this is over.

To take my mind off of all of this: television, of course. My husband and I have been watching Mad Men on DVD for the last couple of weeks. That show blows my mind. The way those people behave at work is shameful (says the HR person). I have always thought that it would be fun to live back in the 50's and early 60's, but after seeing this show, I had second thoughts. Lots of repressed, unhappy people who smoked and drank a lot (even when they were PREGNANT!). But the fashion - oh, the fashion. I love the costumes on this show and I'm always looking forward to seeing what kinds of things the women are wearing. I sometimes wish we could go back to the day when men wore nice suits and hats and women wore fancy dresses on a regular basis. Everyone looked so sophisticated and elegant.

Maybe I could start a new (old) fashion trend?

My favorite TV show is gone.

Tonight was the series finale of Scrubs, and I am so sad right now. I know it's really silly to be so down over the end of a television show, but I got so connected to this show over the last few years that it's going to be hard not seeing any new episodes. Granted, it went a little downhill during the last season and wasn't quite the same show it once was, but I still loved it just the same. It was kind of like eating mediocre pizza: though it wasn't that great, it was still pizza! (I really like pizza, as you can tell.)

Thankfully, I have every season of the show on DVD (with the exception of the current one), so I can still get a good laugh whenever I need it. And be reminded of the fact that I really am a lot like Elliott (those who watch the show will know who I mean).

So I guess I need to find another TV show to be obsessed with. Any suggestions?

A very special Cinco de Mayo.

Today is both of my late great-grandmothers' birthdays. They were both born on May 5th, 1909.

Today is their 100th birthday.

Happy birthday, Great-Grandma and Next-Door-Oma. I miss you both.

A case of the yucks.

I haven't been feeling well since Sunday. I woke up feeling like I weighed a ton - everything I did felt like it took all the energy I had. I wanted to run a bunch of errands that day, but all I ended up doing was going to the grocery store to get food for the week. I thought I was just a little tired, so I laid low and took it easy all day.

But I still felt bad when I woke up yesterday morning. So I stayed home from work because I knew I would be utterly useless, sitting at my desk like a lump just waiting for it to be 3:30. I felt a lot better by the end of the day after napping and again, laying low.

And then I felt bad again when I woke up this morning, which I suspect is because I did not sleep well last night.

It took every ounce of will power I had to get myself out the door this morning. My brain was screaming at me to stop moving already and just lay down. But this software project we're working on at work has a big deadline coming up next week, and I've still got a lot to do before then. So sitting at home for another day was not an option.

It was a tough day. I struggled a lot this morning. Getting up to do anything took a lot of energy. I thought I'd feel better each time I ate something, but it never worked.

I came home and I've been sitting and enjoying the evening, and thankfully, I feel worlds better than I did this morning. I think with a good nights' sleep, I'll be almost back to normal tomorrow morning.

Whatever normal is these days, I have no idea.

It's nice to feel appreciated.

We're installing a new database at work and as a result, have had to do a LOT of data entry over the past two days. And when I say a lot, I mean a lot. Our whole department has been doing nothing but data entry since yesterday morning. I don't mind it (it's very zen for me), but when there's that much and it takes away from being able to do other work, it's grinding.

So it was a nice surprise when we got in today and discovered that our manager had left us all fuschia plants to thank us for all the hard work. And then the project manager for this project bought us lunch today as a thank-you for all the data entry.

Even though it's been a tough week, I feel like my efforts are being recognized and appreciated, and that only makes me want to work harder.

It's amazing how great work can be when you have the right manager.

As promised...

Here's a picture of me with my new hairdo! It doesn't look as good as it did this morning, but you get the idea:
















For awhile, I thought I was Heidi Klum (she had a similar hairstyle). After seeing this picture, not so much.

It's amazing the self-confidence you get from a new haircut!

Stupid novocaine.

I got a filling today. It's been almost 4 hours since I was injected and my lip is still numb. And the pain is starting to kick in, mostly at the injection site and not my tooth. I'd forgotten how big that needle really is.

I do have to give credit to my dentist - I was finished in about a half hour and she was great when I stressed about the needle (I knew that was going to happen). It was also amazing to me how tensed my body was while I was in the chair - I didn't realize it until halfway through the filling that I was almost lifting myself up and out of the chair.

And of course, it really wasn't that big a deal. Unpleasant, yes; but not worth the level of stress I caused myself.

One of these days I'll learn. I promise.

I'm having "Outbreak" flashbacks.

All this talk of swine flu and pandemics has got me thinking about that movie Outbreak. That movie scared the bejeezus out of me. I'm already germ-phobic enough, but this is making me a hundred times more paranoid. I walked into the restroom at work this morning and someone was sniffling and coughing and it smelled like menthol. I tried to hold my breath for as long as possible without turning blue and fainting. My hand-washing has been kicked into overdrive and I'm cautious of anyone coughing or sneezing. Which, during this allergy season, is proving to be too much.

Does anyone have a surgical mask and a bottle of bleach they're not using?

Perfect weekend.

This weekend (as I anticipated) was like a breath of fresh air in my lungs. I feel rejuvenated; like a new person. It started out with me getting up at a very reasonable hour Friday morning (7:30 - I know, I know - it's not sleeping in that much, but I didn't want to waste the day!), eating breakfast and then heading to Target for a little retail therapy. It was so nice going shopping that early on a weekday morning - there was hardly anyone in the store and I felt like I could take all the time I wanted. I bought a couple of little treats for myself, and then headed out to get my hair cut. That's when the real transformation began.

I've been growing my hair out for a couple of years. I had short hair for a while and then decided to grow it out a little bit, but something was missing. My hair wasn't hip or cute: it just...was. So I asked one of my co-workers where she gets her hair done, and she gave me the name and number of the salon on Wednesday. I called that afternoon, and to my surprise, they were able to get me in on Friday. I was a little nervous (new person, new salon), but it all went away when I got there.

I sat down in her chair, and I only gave her one rule: give me something I can duplicate at home. Other than that, do whatever you think will look best on me. I have fine/thin hair, so I wasn't expecting anything grand, but then she said "I think we should give you Heidi Klum bangs." I have always loved that look but didn't think I could pull it off. When I asked her if she was sure I could do it, she said without hesitation, "Absolutely." So I took the plunge, and since I just finished working out, I can't post a picture of my cute new 'do. So I'll do that tomorrow...promise!

I have never been so happy with a haircut in my entire life. I was so excited that I wanted to run down the street, telling the world how fantastic I felt. I feel like an entirely new person. I feel like I've got more confidence than I've ever had, and I feel like I look great. Better than ever.

Who knew a hair cut could make you feel like that? I already booked my next appointment with her.

After that, I went to The Bread Store (the BEST sandwich shop around) to get my most favorite sandwich: the veggie on french bread. And it was...heaven. They put provolone cheese and dill spread on it, and it is to die for. And since the salon is right across the street from there, I'll be going there for lunch every time I'm finished.

After lunch, I headed to Ulta to use a gift card I got for my birthday. I got my eyebrows waxed (and they look GREAT!) and then headed over to Nordstrom Rack to see what I could find. I found a few cute things and a pair of shoes, and then headed to Cupcake Craving for some cupcakes. In the evening, I went out to dinner with some wonderful friends, and then came home and played Rock Band with my husband and my cousin Kim and her husband.

On Saturday I went to the Tower Cafe' with my cousin and her little girl, where we sat outside in the gorgeous weather and ate delicious food.

It was a blissful weekend, and I'm so glad that I decided to do this for myself. I feel like I can take on anything and have no problem getting it done.

And I promise I'll post that picture!

This Friday is casual Friday!

You know why?

BECAUSE I'M TAKING THE DAY OFF!

I could not be more excited, as you can tell. I am desperately in need of a three day weekend, and my boss was gracious enough to give me the day off even though we are in the throws of this software project. I have not been myself over the last few weeks, and this morning I felt like I was approaching serious burnout. So I figure, either I have a complete meltdown and don't take care of myself, OR I use a little bit of PTO (paid time off) and save myself and the company from my mental downward spiral.

And I'm telling you, as soon as she said it was OK, it was like a cool breeze swept through me and I was instantly in a much better mood. I could tell it was exactly what I needed based on that feeling. She suggested I get out of town for the day and do something to clear my head. I'm not sure what I'll be doing, although I do have some ideas:

• Getting a massage
• Getting my eyebrows waxed (WAY overdue)
• Taking myself out to a healthy lunch
• Enjoying the deliciousness of not having to go to work (that's definitely on the agenda)

I think between having this Friday off and Memorial Day next month, I should be fine until my vacation in July.

And three months from today, that's where I'll be.

Is it Friday yet?

I'm so beat and so looking forward to the weekend. But these days, the weekends are going faster and faster. I'm sure it has something to do with the fact that I've always got something going on, no matter how much I try to do as little as possible. They're usually always fun things, but it's nice to sometimes be a homebody on Saturdays and just take naps, do laundry, watch movies and hang.

But a weekend's a weekend not at work, so I'll take it any day. Thankfully, there's not a lot on the agenda this weekend, so I'm planning to soak up all the free time I can by not engaging my brain if I really don't have to.

Also, I plan to watch Australia, which I'm very excited about because I may just watch it on my new laptop while in laying in bed.

That thought makes me so happy.

A new toy!

I bought a new laptop on Saturday and I'm loving it. It's got a humongous hard drive, a wireless card (my favorite feature), a built-in web cam (so I can use Skype!) and a variety of other cool features. My other computer was incredibly slow and it was high time for me to get something a little faster.

So thank you Uncle Sam for the tax refund - it sure came in handy, and I did my part to help stimulate the economy. Hooray!

I spy with my little eye...

A floater that's driving me crazy.

I've had a floater in my line of sight for at least a couple of months now. It looks like a hair and it moves every time I move my eye. It's really noticeable in bright light and not so much when it's dark. I finally had enough and decided to go to the eye doctor to make sure that nothing more serious was going on with my vision. I haven't been to the eye doctor since I was a child, so I wasn't exactly sure what to expect.

I had my husband take me since I was informed ahead of time that they would be dilating my pupils, and I'd heard that you can't see a whole lot after that happens. Once I got there, they escorted me into a room where the technician (who was a little too cheery for my taste) informed me that they would be numbing my eyes so they could check the pressure. The numbing would be achieved through eye drops, which I knew I'd be facing at some point, and wasn't looking forward to. All I kept thinking about beforehand was that episode of Friends where Rachel has an eye infection and she goes to the eye doctor, and every time he tries to blow a puff of air in her eye, she pulls her head back.

If you've never had your eyes numbed, it's a very odd feeling. You can't feel a thing once it happens, but you suddenly feel very sleepy and can't keep your eyes open to save your life. It lasted for a good 20 minutes, and then she took me back into the exam room. I was finally starting to feel normal again when the doctor came in and said he was going to numb them again and then dilate them. Great. Once he did the exam, he informed me that I have a viscous detachment, which as he explained it, there's a gelatinous part behind your eye, and as we age, it can liquefy and parts of it can break loose, which explains the floater. He also explained there's nothing that can be done about it and it's basically my new little buddy, so I'd better get used to it. There's a chance that my brain will learn to ignore it or it may float away into another part of my eye and I won't see it, but that's only a possibility. I could see it there for the rest of my life.

Bummer.

He was pretty happy about how healthy my eyes were otherwise, and thankfully, I still have 20/20 vision in both eyes, so he said glasses were completely out of the question. Whew.

So thankfully I don't have a brain tumor, my eye isn't going to fall out and I don't have a wayward cat hair that made its way deep inside my eye.

Not that I was considering any of these possibilities before Friday afternoon.

Music to my ears.

When I was in high school and college, listening to music was my biggest hobby. I loved it more than anything - it made me feel alive, happy and fulfilled. For some reason, I fell out of it for awhile and there's been a hole where it used to be. Over the last few days, I've rediscovered it again and spiritually I feel renewed. It's amazing what a difference it's made, and even more important, that the feelings I used to have when I listened to good music are coming back.

My husband and I went to Dimple last weekend and sold a lot of music for credit. I purchased the following albums:

1) Tori Amos, From the Choirgirl Hotel: I've been a Tori Amos fan since I was 16, and I don't think that will ever change. Her performance at the Crest almost 17 years ago was the first concert I ever went to, and I will always remember it (something my mom treated me to). I bought this album on tape several years ago and never got it on CD, so I'm happy to finally be able to listen to it in the 21st century.

2) Beyonce', I Am...Sasha Fierce: I'm not ashamed to admit that I really like Beyonce's music. I have all of her solo albums and I like all of them equally. This is the type of music that gets me energized in the morning and makes me feel...good. I can't put it into words, but I just know that it makes me happy. I've only listened to a couple of songs and I like what I've heard so far.

3) Ingrid Michaelson, Girls and Boys: I had heard her song "The Way I Am" several times, but I really fell in love with it when I saw Jason Mraz in Berkeley back in November. They were playing it during intermission, and I just adored it. I've been meaning to buy the CD for awhile, and when I found it at Dimple for $7.99, I couldn't resist. I haven't listened to it yet, but that will be tomorrow's album.

4) Fleet Foxes, Sun Giant: I discovered this band while I was in the car with my mom one day. She was listening to XM Radio, and I heard them and again, instantly fell in love with their sound. It's very retro and very mellow. I got their self-titled album for Christmas and I really like it, so I picked up their other album. Again, another one I'll be listening to soon.

I've also discovered several new bands (new to me) that have made me excited about music again:

• The Pierces - two sisters with amazing voices and haunting melodies.
• The Weepies - really mellow and great music.
• Jaymay - I'm a sucker for female songwriters, and this woman is fantastic.
• Bat for Lashes - one woman with a fantastic voice.

I'm so glad that music has returned to my life again - I really feel like I need it for my sanity. So with that, I'm off to go grab my iPod so I can tune in and exercise.

And I'm always looking for good recommendations, so send them my way if you have them!

I just finished a workout.

In keeping with my butt-kicking regime, I ran tonight after work even though I was exhausted from another full day of software training. But at this moment, I feel awesome and rejuvenated: exactly as I knew I would. Unfortunately, I'm going out after work tomorrow night and Friday night, so those nights are out as far as exercise is concerned. However, that still leaves me Wednesday and Thursday, plus the weekend. Which, once this week is over, will equal 4 days of running.

The thing I'm most excited about is that I'm excited. I was actually looking forward to coming home tonight and getting on the treadmill. And I haven't felt like that in almost 3 years.

Let's hope it sticks this time, since I'm smart enough now to realize what I had before.

Stop making excuses already!

I've been coming up with excuses not to exercise lately: I'm too busy, too tired, too lazy, too whatever. And my body is starting to reflect that. Unfortunately, my clothes don't fit quite as well as they did when I was exercising regularly, and I positively hate it. So I stopped pussy-footing around and started running again. And my body is thanking me in a good way. I feel amazing and I feel like I'm back on the road to being in shape again.

I'll probably have to come back and read this post again when I come home from work this week and don't feel like running. I'm going to have to kick my own behind into gear.

But that behind will be a lot firmer in a few weeks - that's for sure.

Losing my mind and my necklace.

Have you ever lost something so important to you that it made you ill just thinking about it? I had that happen to me this week.

My mom gave me a diamond necklace when I turned 18. It's dainty and beautiful and I love it and I wear it almost every day. I wore it on my wedding day. It means so very much to me. So you can imagine my utter and complete heartbreak when I went to put it on yesterday morning and couldn't find it. I figured I'd spend some more time looking when I got home from work, and that it would probably be in one of two places where my jewelry ends up at the end of the day.

It wasn't in either of those places.

I tore my house apart looking for it. I got my husband involved. The thing that made me sick was that I couldn't remember when I wore it last and where I put it when I took it off. It was driving me insane. Did it accidentally end up in the trash? Did it fall off my neck and I didn't notice? How could I have just had it a few days before and now it's vanished?

I felt sick and completely irresponsible. I didn't know what to do. I dreamt about it last night and fretted over it every now and again today at work. It was awful. I dreaded having to tell my mom that I lost the necklace she'd given me; the necklace that cost her a pretty penny when we had nothing was gone and it was my fault.

I came home today and was getting ready to do another marathon night of searching. I took a seat at my computer, as I do every day when I get home, and looked a little around the floor of my desk to see if it had ended up there. No luck. I turned in my chair to get up, and noticed a shiny thing laying on the ground a few feet from my chair.

It was the diamond.

I have never been more relieved in my entire life. I told my husband that I didn't care about the chain, who cares what happened to it; what's more important is that I found the diamond.

And I looked down and saw the chain about 2 feet from where the diamond was.

More relief and happiness.

The scary thing is, I have no idea how that happened. The only thing I can guess is that I took it off at my desk and it fell out of my hand as I was walking back to the bedroom.

I'm just so, so glad that it turned up. I tried to tell myself when it was missing that it was just a thing and that it could be replaced, but in reality, it really couldn't. That necklace reminds me of just how much my mom loves me every time I wear it.

It now resides in a little jewelry box next to my bed, and that's where it will go every night when I come home. I never want to risk losing it again.

My sanity's returned, and so has my necklace. Who could ask for more in a day?

The voice of reason.

I've noticed lately that my tendencies are starting to change. As an example, instead of doing things I naturally want to do, I'm starting to gravitate more to doing things I need to do. Not that I don't do what I should be doing most of the time; it's just that the things I want to do get the best of me more than they should, mostly when I'm not at work (of course). I'm not saying there's anything wrong with giving in to what you want to do; it's just making sure that the need-to's get done when they should.

We should all to give into our wants every now and then, but the need-to's have to come into play at some point. The feeling of getting a need-to off of my to-do list is now more satisfying than getting a want-to off of it. Isn't that a sign of adulthood?

I guess at 32, it's finally all making sense. Imagine that.

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I've been racking my brain trying to think of a good topic to blog about today, but nothing's coming to mind. I think the training class I was in all week took everything I had.

I did enjoy lots of sleep this weekend and I'm feeling really energized and refreshed this morning, so maybe by the end of the day my creative juices will be flowing again.

In the meantime, I'll ask this question: does anyone have any good CD's they're listening to right now? I'm always on the lookout for new (to me) music.

Yoo hoo! Over here!

Remember me? I know it's been a week since you've seen me - I've been running around like a maniac with all the errands I've had to do. I'm playing cat-sitter for someone (and getting paid for it - woo hoo!), and I'm also in a marathon session of software training at work, so it's going to be a very busy week for me. I had a little crying session yesterday (felt a little overwhelmed), but if every day goes as fast as today, it'll be Friday again in no time. I'm trying not to do too much when I get home from work so that I'm rested and refreshed for the next day. And unfortunately, exercise has taken a back seat just for this week. But I've decided that I'm going to start running at McKinley Park after work starting next week - the treadmill is too boring for me and the weather is going to start getting really nice. Why not spend that extra daylight time outside?

So if you don't hear a lot from me this week, it's because I'm so busy that I can't tell if I'm coming or going.

But my spirit is here! (Unfortunately, it can't post for me, though.)

Happy birthday, Baba!

Today is my grandfather's 81st birthday. We call him Baba all because of me. My mom's parents are Hungarian but speak mostly German at home, and the German word for grandfather is Opa. Since I was the first grandchild in the family, it was my responsibility to say "Opa". And of course, I didn't. It came out as "Baba". Here we are, 31 years later, and he's still Baba. Oh well.

So my Baba is 81 today. And when I called to wish him a happy birthday tonight, my grandmother put him on the phone and the conversation went something like this:

Me: Happy birthday, Baba!

Baba: What?

Me: Happy birthday!

Baba: What?

Me: Happy birthday!

Baba: I heard what you said.

My grandfather is such a jokester. Always has been, always will be. And I'm so glad that even at 81, he's still got some left in him.

Happy birthday to the best Baba ever!

I am not the dentists' favorite.

I went to the dentist for another cleaning today, and I swear I was just there last week (at least that's what it felt like). When she told me that my last appointment was in August, I gasped. I was flabbergasted at how fast the time had passed.

Anyway, once she starting poking around in my mouth, she found a dark spot, which was not a cavity, but something ON TOP of a cavity. If my tooth had a face, it would look like this:














I'd forgotten how unpleasant a cavity is. And she hit it twice during my appointment - once with the little air gun thing on purpose (WHY do they do that?!) and then with the cleaning solution (not on purpose). Yikes. I guess that's my punishment for not flossing as frequently as I should be...again. Although I told her the plaque that was there was sparing me the pain of the cavity, so in this case, it worked in my favor not to floss.

She didn't think it was as funny as I did.

So I'll be going back at the end of April for a filling. And in keeping with my New Year's resolutions in not making things harder on myself, I am NOT going to worry about this since I've been through this before and it's not a big deal.

At least it won't be until the needle comes. Then it will be a big deal.

Defeat of the sugar monster.

What a difference a week makes. I'm still struggling a little bit, but it's getting easier and I'm so, so thankful. And my clothes are fitting a whole lot better, which feels really awesome. I'm tempted to keep this up once Lent is over, since every time I eat sugar, I only want more.

Then I remembered that these are here again:







I love love LOVE these. I usually get a few on Easter and I cannot wait. But one or two of them won't push me back to my old habits.

That's my story and I'm stickin' to it.

An ugly discovery.

So I made the realization today that sugar is apparently my caffeine. Take it away, and I can't function as well as normal. I've been crabby all day and a little on the hungry side, even though I ate tons of fruits and veggies. I also had a bean burrito for lunch (to get that protein in) and a Boca burger for dinner (meatless, of course), which I thought would take care of the hungry part, but sadly, it did not.

Now my challenge is to find snacks that are either high in protein or high in fiber, since my normal high fiber granola bar snack has been kicked to the curb (10 grams of sugar per serving!).

I realized this afternoon at work that I feel just like I did during my first week of Weight Watchers - constantly thinking about food and looking at the time to see if it's time to eat again. But I soon felt better when I remembered that the feeling went away after a few days and I completely adjusted. So by this time next week, I should be feeling a lot better. I've just got to get through these next few days.

Wish me luck.

Yes, I am serious about the no sugar thing.

I had my last piece of chocolate and last Fiber One chocolate granola bar today. I also had a small little chocolate cakey-thing with chocolate sauce on top as a last hurrah. And to prove that I'm serious about this, I went to the grocery store after work and bought the lowest sugar-content cereal I could find (Special K) without eating twigs for breakfast, and I also bought Egg Beaters so I can do without cereal some mornings to go even more sugar-free.

One of my co-workers said I'll be amazed at how I'll feel after all the sugar has left my system. And I know she's right, since I've done this once before. It's just that these next few days are going to be...well...a little rough. Especially since eating chocolate is my stress reliever. I'll just have to turn my energy toward more exercise. Or I'll start another book.

I'd just better figure it out before tomorrow afternoon when I get home from work and really want to eat that piece of chocolate. That's all I know for sure.

A question of sacrifice.

The season of Lent begins again on Wednesday, and I've been giving a lot of thought to what I'll be giving up this year. I went back and forth between a couple of different things, and after a weekend of overindulgence (again), I've settled on abstaining from refined sugar. A few years ago, I did it for a month right before I started Weight Watchers, and was able to do it just fine. Even though it was a bit of a struggle at first, I made it through and even lost a little bit of weight. What made my decision easier for me was this past weekend, when I tore into the Girl Scout cookies I bought without thinking twice, and then devoured a Milky Way bar right after that. That's not normal for me, and I felt really physically awful after I ate all that. So I thought about it a little more over the last couple of days and came to my decision today, after I woke up feeling miserable and having not slept well again last night because I ate too much sugar yesterday.

Lent is also a time to reflect spiritually and prepare yourself for Easter Sunday. I'm also planning on doing that over the next 40 days, and I'm pretty sure I'm going to come out a more positive, relaxed person.

Tomorrow will be my last day of eating a piece of chocolate when I come home from work, so I'll savor it just a bit more than usual and then say good-bye for 40 days. It will definitely be a journey of temptation and sacrifice, but it will build character and will make me a stronger person.

I can't wait to see what I'll be like on Easter Sunday.

RIP, Socks.

Former First Cat (that makes me laugh a little) Socks passed away yesterday at the ripe old age of 18. Quite a long life for a kitty, but it still makes me sad whenever I hear about an animal passing away. It sounds like he was well cared for and had a wonderful life with Betty Currie, Clinton's former personal secretary.

I told my kitties to say a kitty prayer for him (I know, I'm a sap and a little weird).

I heart Vietnamese food.

We went out to lunch today to celebrate a co-worker's birthday, so we went to Andy Nguyen's and it was delicious as always. It was nice to have hot, fresh food on a cold, blustery day. I had the mixed vegetable and tofu over noodle dish. Heaven. I'm not normally a big tofu fan, but this was cooked to perfection and so yummy. I've had their food a few times now, and I can honestly say that I prefer it over Chinese food. I did have to work a little harder on the treadmill tonight, but it was worth it.

A few years ago, I never would have even thought to try Vietnamese food (I used to be very picky), but I can't imagine being without it now. Hopefully we'll go back again soon!

What could be better...

than a rainy Friday night watching Sex and the City?

Nothing makes me feel cozier than that!

Pet peeve.

Why is that, sometimes (or all the time, depending on who you talk to), people forget the fundamentals of driving and act like complete morons? While driving home this afternoon, it was pretty backed up as soon as I got on the freeway. It was stop and go traffic, which is a little unusual for the time of day I leave work (3:30). As I got closer to my exit, people were stopping to look at a single car accident (someone hit the guard rail and had minor damage to his car), which pretty much created all the traffic. As soon as I passed the incident, traffic cleared up and it was smooth sailing all the way home. I don't understand the blatant gawking at something that's really not that interesting and none of their beeswax. What is it about seeing someone else's problem that's so fascinating?

It's the same reason why reality television is so popular, I suppose. People are just too curious for their own good.

Now please excuse me while I go make sure that Project Runway is still set up to record on my DVR.

Party time!

By this time tomorrow night, I'll be one year older. Amazing how fast another year has passed.

My co-workers are taking me out for lunch and are also bringing in cupcakes for the occasion. Although I'll be working tomorrow, I'm glad to at least be in a place where I enjoy it and it's not such a chore to have to work on my birthday.

I'm looking forward to what the next year has to bring, since they only seem to be getting better.

And since I'm officially old, I'll be going to bed at 8:00 tonight (but only because I'm starting work at 6am tomorrow so I can get off a little early).

Did I mention I ate dinner at 4:30 tonight?

I DID IT!

I jogged for almost 2.25 miles tonight without stopping. It's the first time I've done that in...well, I can't remember how long. Two years, at least. I feel pretty great right now and my confidence is back, which means I'm more willing to jump on the treadmill again to see if I can go a little farther.

Yay me!

Feeling much better today.

Much to my surprise, I had a much better day today at work. The weekend was incredibly restful and restoring, and after looking through my work today, it appears that I'm not as buried as I originally thought. And since I don't have too much scheduled this week out of the ordinary, everything should be done by the end of the week with no problem.

What a huge relief that is, especially since I'm going to a seminar next Monday and Tuesday and will be losing 2 days of work.

Speaking of that...I'm looking forward to a little mini vacation. I'm staying at the Westin (which I've never stayed at before but I'm told is pretty great), and plan on doing a little shopping on Sunday afternoon when I get there. And when I get home on Wednesday, I've only got a couple of days and then...my birthday. And then the celebrations begin.

So there's much to look forward to within the next two weeks. And now that I have a clear head again, I'm so excited.

I want to go back on vacation.

This week at work has been brutal. The scary part is that it's going to be like this for me for the next few months. I felt inadequate today, which makes me feel stressed, which makes my back hurt (up towards my ribcage, which I've learned is what happens to me when I get really stressed), which makes me clam up and get really quiet. I didn't talk to a lot of my co-workers today because I was so wrapped up in my own world. When I sat down with my boss to talk about me helping out another department, we made a list of everything I'm working on (current and upcoming projects) and I almost stopped breathing. I'm almost at the point where I'm going to need to start delegating things to someone else, which I'm mostly OK with, but since I'm such a control freak when it comes to my work, I worry that things won't be done the way I want them (or need them to be).

The worst part is, I KNOW I'm not inadequate. It's simply that I'm juggling too many things at work, and a couple of things got pushed to the back burner. Things that I intended to finish, but that other, more pressing things got in the way and needed my attention more. I ended up finishing up what was asked of me today, but not without me feeling guilty and bad and that I'd let my boss down.

The bottom line is that I've got to work on prioritizing my work a little better and split my time between things, rather than work on one thing only until it's finished. The only problem is, I've got this thing about finishing a project so I can stop thinking about it and therefore stop stressing about it. And that's not working out so well for me.

I know all of this is temporary and that things will eventually settle down a little, and that every time I go through a tough period at work, I come out feeling really good about myself; that I made it through (somehow) without having a breakdown and I actually did a good job. And that all of this will be a great learning experience. I just really have to remind myself of those facts on a day-to-day basis, or I'll drown in my own thoughts and believe I'm not good enough. And that's toxic.

I know this isn't the happiest of posts, but I figured everyone can relate to this, and I really needed to vent a little in the hopes that some of my readers will have some similar stories to make me feel a little more normal.

In the meantime, I'm so happy tomorrow is Friday. I might just have a glass of wine tomorrow night after work to celebrate.

And since I rarely drink, you can imagine the kind of week I've had.

Movie recommendation.

If you're looking for a good human drama, Things We Lost in the Fire is pretty great. And I think I kind of like Benicio Del Toro as an actor.

Just be prepared with a box of tissues, because it is a tear jerker. And I suddenly believe again that there is good in all of us, even if it is way down deep inside.

Re-discovering an old love.

I recently started reading again after a long and unnecessary hiatus. Life has been so crazy over the last couple of years that I haven't had much time to stop what I'm doing and pick up a book. So when a co-worker lent me a few books recently, I took it as the opportunity to start reading religiously again. And boy, I'm glad I did.

Last week, I finished reading Funny in Farsi: A Memoir of Growing up Iranian in America by Firoozeh Dumas. What a wonderful book that was. So funny and warm, and so enlightening, too. I highly recommend this book to anyone who's interested in learning more about the Iranian culture.

As soon as I finished that book, I picked up A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini (he's the author of The Kite Runner, which was recently made into a movie). I'm only 60 pages into it thus far, and all I can say is: wow. This book will probably make it on to my list of all time favorites. Last week during my break, I came across one part that was so moving that I actually cried a little. It's been a long time since a book has done that to me, and all I wanted to do was keep reading. I've been taking it with me everywhere I go - while I was waiting for my Weight Watchers meeting to start yesterday, I read a few pages and hated to put it down. I'm excited to see where the book is going.

I'm not sure yet what I'll be reading next. It always makes me a little sad when I've finished reading a book - I grow somewhat attached to the story and the characters. And that's part of why I love to read so much.

I'm so glad I decided to pick up a book a couple of weeks ago. I don't think I'll ever go that long again without reading.

And if anyone has any good books to recommend, please let me know!

When animals attack!

Check out this link, and then tell me it's not one of the funniest things ever. If you have pets, I think you will agree with me.

I don't dare attempt anything like this with my cats, because I KNOW I'll lose an eye. For sure.

Best. Picture. Ever.

I renewed my driver's license last week and had to get a new picture. That always makes me cringe. So I made sure I looked extra cute when it was my turn (checked my hair several times, put on lip gloss, and smiled my prettiest natural smile). The woman who took my picture said, "Oh you're going to be happy with this picture - it's nice!" I figured she was just being kind, until it came in the mail today.

It turns out, that nice lady at the DMV was right. I have never been happier with any single picture of myself ever, with the exception of my wedding pictures. I was ecstatic. I tried to take a picture of it to share with all of you, but unfortunately it didn't turn out. I'm sure that I will show you the next time I get together with any of you.

Now, I kind of hope I'll get carded so people can see this fantastic picture. If I don't, maybe I'll just ask them if they'd like to see it anyway.

Yes, it's that good.

Back to reality.

Nothing hurts as much as hearing your alarm go off at 5:15 on a Monday morning after you've been sleeping until 9 am every day for eleven days. My first thought was how I'd love to give my left arm for another day off, until I realized two things: 1) I really like my left arm and use it quite frequently; and 2) taking another day off will only prolong the inevitability of returning to work, and really, why put it off? I had worked myself into such a frenzy last night over going back that I gave myself a headache and didn't fall asleep until almost 11:30, even though rational me kept saying, "YOU'RE WORRYING FOR NOTHING, YOU KNOW. THIS IS SILLY. STOP IT AND GO TO SLEEP. YOU'LL PAY FOR THE LACK OF SLEEP TOMORROW AND IT WILL NOT BE PRETTY."

And yet, the irrational, worrying, anxious me, said, "BE QUIET, YOU. THERE'S PROBABLY A HUGE FIRE WAITING FOR ME WHEN I GET TO WORK, ALONG WITH 34083923 E-MAILS AND 984398493 PHONE MESSAGES. I HAVE LEGITIMATE REASONS TO BE WORRIED HERE."

So this morning, with my heart fluttering a little, I turned on my computer to discover I had about 20 e-mails, none of which were earth-shatteringly important, and two phone messages. Two. Both of which were non-urgent.

I've taken countless vacations from work, and have always come back to normalcy. Why on earth should this time have been any different in terms of emergencies, ESPECIALLY since most of the free world was off last week anyway?

The answer is: I don't know. Again. I told myself last night (as you saw) that I needed to stick to my resolution and stop making myself crazy over nothing. And I KNEW it was for nothing. And yet I still went through the needless agony.

Clearly, I still have some more work to do. I think I'll head to Amazon to see if I can find a self help book on a similar topic.

On the bright side, I had a relatively good day and I'm glad to be back in my routine again. It was nice to take a break, but it was really nice to go back to eating normal food and a regular exercise routine.

If all goes as planned, I'm hoping to take the same week off again at the end of the year.

And yes, it's already on my calendar.

Now playing: the Lovin' Touchin' Squeezins!

I am officially a drummer in a band. Can you believe it? We're just starting out and don't have a big fan base yet, but we're hoping to book some gigs soon. Oh, and me and the guitar player are having a thing. Hopefully it won't go sour, or the whole band will be in trouble.

My husband got Rock Band 2 for Christmas, and we've been playing non stop since last night when we went over to a friend's house and played with them for 4 hours straight. We bought the rest of the equipment for the game today and set up our band this afternoon. We got our name from an episode of Scrubs - J.D. was telling Turk and Carla about a Journey cover band that he loved named the Lovin' Touchin' Squeezins as a suggestion for a band at their wedding.

I also did a little singing tonight, but I'm no Kim (my cousin). I don't even know some of the songs in the game, so I'll be playing the drums on those selections.

I have a feeling I'm going to be losing a lot of time in the very near future - time that should be spent on chores or other really important things.

But my drumming skills need refining at this point, so I'll make the sacrifice.

The things I do for the band.

My New Year's commitments.

Every year, I make New Year's resolutions that I never keep, like most people do. This year, I've decided to call them commitments instead of resolutions, so I can take them more seriously and actually follow through on them. Here's what I've come up with:

1. Stop chewing on my fingers when I get nervous or stressed. It's an ugly habit that I've had for most of my life and I'm bound and determined to stop this year.

2. Go back to eating lots of fruits and veggies like I used to do a couple of years ago. It really made such a difference in how I felt, and since I've done it before, I can do it again.

3. Train myself for a run. I miss the way I used to feel and want that back again.

4. Really, REALLY stop making things harder for myself than they need to be. I worry about minute things way more than I need to, and I'm realizing now that all that does is complicate things. I'm not sure yet how I'm going to do this, but I'll find a way.

I think this is a good start. I'm sure I can come up with more, but for now, this is enough for me to work on.

Happy New Year and happy new you!!